Like cars, relationships can enter into a “cruise control” phase. But if the relationship in question is your marriage, things can start to spiral downward when you hit a plateau. This is why the divorce rate is high in many western countries.
The start of a marriage is usually blissful, wonderful, and full of magical feelings. You could stay up with your spouse for hours whispering sweet nothings and still feel the time is passing too swiftly!
Yet, a few years down the line, or even in the first year of marriage, the union that was once intoxicating might start to feel like a total bore.
The good news is that you can turn things around and make your marriage as exciting as it used to be.
What’s more, you can restore your marriage, bring back the spark in your union, and make your life together more thrilling than before, even if it is a troubled marriage and you are currently separated!
I shared some no-non-sense, practical tips in this post for couples looking to rebuild their marriage during a separation. Be sure to check it out if you’re currently separated.
Let’s get back to spicing things up to prevent your marriage relationship from hitting the rocks.
Knowing how to save a marriage is not too difficult if you have the right tips. But beyond tips and tricks, you must be willing to put in the required effort to make things work, or else all the marriage advice in the world won’t make any difference.
Ready to salvage your marriage? Then keep reading for practical tips on how to spice up your marriage.
1. Say “I Love You” Without Saying It
Predictability is one of the biggest reasons long-term relationships get boring eventually.
You and your spouse may still love each other deeply and verbalize it often, but the phrase has somehow lost the heat it once had.
Why is that?
“I love you” can easily become the go-to phrase you routinely say in predictable, everyday situations. Over time, the phrase becomes something you utter out of habit rather than something you say because you deeply mean it.
Rekindle the fire and passion behind the words “I love you” without using the phrase. Say things like, “I’m so blessed to have you,” “You take my breath away, even after all these years,” and “You are my addiction.”
Get creative and use phrases that you really mean. Need a few ideas? Check out these quotes.
2. Increase Physical Touch in Your Marriage
No, I’m not referring to sex just yet.
Remember how you hardly kept your hands off each other at the start of your relationship? Go back to doing that.
Life happens, a married couple can get caught up in their daily grind, and gradually, physical affection takes the back burner.
As one of the five love languages, physical touch can increase relationship satisfaction and overall emotional and physical well-being.
Here’s how to spice up your marriage using this tip: be intentional about touching your partner. Set a goal to touch your spouse 5, 10, or 15 times a day.
No matter the amount of time you choose, make sure to put your heart and soul into every touch to make it count. It really does come down to the little things, especially when there are marriage problems brewing.
Hold hands, give a quick back rub, give pecks, kiss, cuddle, or caress your spouse’s hand – whatever you, just find ways to touch your partner meaningfully.
3. Create Time for Play
Marriage is undoubtedly a serious business, but that doesn’t mean you should approach your union like a partnership. Your conversations don’t have to only revolve around serious matters, such as parenting and family budget.
Create time for play every day if possible.
Marriage is fun, but you have to take charge and create the fun you want rather than wait for fun moments to show up.
How to save a marriage? Play! It is one of the quickest paths to spicing things up in your relationship.
Here’s why.
It reminds you of youthfulness and friendship – two qualities that keep the fire burning in marriage.
4. Be Young, Wild, and Free!
Speaking of youthfulness, don’t let age trick you into believing you are too old to act crazily in love.
Remember those things you did when you were young, wild, and free? Do them! Don’t be too shy to steal a kiss in a public place or swim naked like teens when the situation is appropriate.
You can watch the sunset together, slow dance to your favorite romantic music, give each other massages, or take bubble baths together – the list is endless.
5. Try New Things Together
When your marriage loses its spark, it is often because you are drowning in your routine. Get out of your comfort zone and stretch yourselves together!
Give your spouse and yourself the gift of a new experience – preferably a challenging one.
There are lots of challenging and fun things you can do to continue a healthy marriage. Hike a new trail, go scuba diving, or go on an unplanned road trip. Whatever you do, just make sure you do it together and work on establishing a stronger emotional connection while you’re at it.
6. Get Sweaty Together
Exercise offers many benefits, but you probably already know that. However, not many people know that physical exercise can increase sexual desire.
Break a sweat together, whether that’s running or working out indoors. It will increase blood flow, promote healthy hormones, and, who knows, you might want to explore other “options” if you happen to feel aroused after getting sweaty together. It also lets you spend some quality time together.
7. Tweak Things in the Bedroom
Okay, now let’s talk sex.
Things can get boring in the bedroom quickly if you still initiate sex today the same way you did five years ago!
Mix things up a bit when it comes to lovemaking. For example, add dim lighting to your bedroom to create a sexy atmosphere or light scented candles (if that’s your thing) when you are about to have sex to build anticipation.
Always find ways to excite your senses!
Whatever you do, avoid bringing up routine (chores, to-dos, etc.) during sexual intimacy because it causes stress, decreasing sexual arousal.
Bottom Line
It is normal for every marriage to undergo a phase where a jumpstart is necessary. Hitting a plateau in your relationship doesn’t necessarily signify the end of the union.
You can rekindle the passion you once had if you know how to spice up your marriage. It is even better to occasionally tweak things in your relationship rather than wait for a “cruise control” phase before revisiting these tips on how to save a marriage.
If these tips aren’t working, you may want to try couples counseling to help build a strong marriage and family life.
Consider bookmarking this page so that you can quickly come back to it whenever it is necessary to bring back the spark or increase the intensity of the spark in your relationship.
