personal connection

Personal Connection in Relationships – Why It Matters and How to Foster It

Nearly every single problem in a relationship can be traced to a feeling of disconnection. Living under the same roof with someone doesn’t necessarily guarantee a strong emotional connection. That’s why many couples, including those in committed relationships, tend to drift apart after the initial honeymoon phase.

Your relationship might lack personal connection if it no longer feels secure for you. The good news is that boring relationships with zero passion do not happen suddenly.

This means you can turn things around and save your relationship if you quickly notice signs of unresponsiveness or emotional disconnection.

In this post, I’ll explain why ensuring personal connection in relationships is crucial and share important ways to build and nurture it.

Common Misconception About Personal Connection in Relationships

Psychologists describe humans as relational beings who thrive in social situations. That’s another way of saying we need other humans to flourish. However, you can feel lonely even when you are not alone. This explains why real human connection isn’t merely about sharing the same space with others.

In romantic relationships, partners often assume that the initial spark between them will last a lifetime. Unfortunately, this is not the case in many relationships.

The connection between couples can start to strain under the pressure of demanding careers, child-rearing, financial issues, and other stressors. Before long, cracks will start to show and could mark the beginning of the end of the relationship if partners choose to ignore or don’t notice the signs on time.

A common misconception among partners in romantic relationships is that they already have a strong personal connection with each other. However, this belief is usually based on connections that typically weaken over time.

Many couples, both in committed or undefined relationships, tend to focus on physical intimacy (connection based on physical touch to enhance the feeling of closeness) and sexual intimacy (connection based on sex, trust, and emotional closeness).

However, couples must work on building and maintaining emotional intimacy if they want to enjoy a strong lifelong bond. Emotional intimacy is a relationship connection based on deep feelings of closeness, trust, and safety through sharing of personal validation and deep personal feelings.

How long a relationship lasts depends on the strength of the emotional connection between partners, and that’s what personal connection in meaningful relationships is all about.

Why Personal Connection Matters in Relationships

It might not be apparent, but the quality of your personal relationship largely determines the quality of your life. This is why it is crucial to nurture connectedness in your relationship.

Here’s a rundown of other reasons you must pay close attention to the emotional bond in your relationship:

  • May increase life expectancy: Partners who are deeply connected have a stronger sense of belonging, which is a factor in being more resilient to stress. Chronic stress can shorten life expectancy, while happier people tend to live longer.
  • Improves emotional well-being: Strong connections make us feel cared about, valued, and respected. Consistently feeling this way helps increase your self-esteem and improves your emotional health.
  • Reduces the risk of physical illness: Partners who share a strong emotional bond may have health issues, but because they are less stressed, they are likely to enjoy a more robust immune system, which reduces their risk of falling ill too often.
  • Leads to an overall happier life: Healthy relationships are a major contributing factor to living a fulfilling life. Besides sharing laughs, fun dates, and intimacy, you have the steadfast support of your partner, and together, you can weather the roughest storms.

How to Foster Personal Connection in Relationships

couple holding hands

Relationships thrive only when partners are willing to put in the required effort. Regardless of what’s portrayed in the media, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. It takes work ― consistent, deliberate work ― to have a blissful relationship, no matter the chemistry and shared values between partners.

That said, any relationship can flourish if partners are willing to strengthen the personal connection. Here are some ways to ensure a stronger bond between romantic partners in close relationships.

Cultivate Emotional Intimacy

Intimacy in romantic relationships isn’t only about physical acts like sex, cuddling, kissing, or holding hands. Although physical and sexual intimacies are important, partners in a relationship can easily drift apart without strong emotional intimacy.

Emotional intimacy involves sharing deep personal feelings and having a genuine connection. That means being vulnerable ― something that’s difficult for many people.

Understandably, no one enjoys being judged or wants to put themselves in a position where something they shared in confidence will be used against them.

However, if you want to build trust in your relationship, you must embrace vulnerability. Emotional intimacy may be lacking if you are feeling insecure in your relationship.


A relationship that will last a lifetime must be based on truth, so you must be yourself. Allow your partner to see you the way you are. You can only hide your true self for so long in a relationship you hope will last a lifetime.

Being authentic goes hand in hand with being vulnerable, but the idea is slightly different because it requires you to accept and appreciate your partner for who they are without trying to make them into what you prefer.

Be There for Each Other

Stronger connections can only exist in environments where partners feel completely safe. In other words, partners in a healthy relationship need to know that their significant other will always be there for them.

To foster a healthy relationship connection, you must be intentional about being there for your partner. It all comes down to the following:

  • Be accessible: Your partner needs to know they can always count on you. On the other hand, you must tune into your partner to understand their feelings and emotion.
  • Be responsive: Partners must be sensitive to each other’s emotional needs, including fears, hopes, and attachment needs.
  • Engage your partner: This means being empathetic to your partner and lovingly paying attention to their emotion and thought process.

Common Signs of Emotional Disconnection in Relationships

The best way to fix emotional disconnection in an otherwise close relationship is to catch the early warning signs. Here are some common indicators of emotional disconnection in a personal relationship:

  • Communication between you and your partner gets rarer and not very deep.
  • You don’t spend enough time together like you once did.
  • You have your guard up when you talk about issues (or you don’t feel safe) with your person.
  • You feel lonely in your relationship, even though you are not alone.
  • Your needs (especially emotional needs) are not being met.

Once you notice any of these signs, discuss the issue with your partner with a view to finding a solution, not merely pointing accusing fingers. Remember, external pressures can take a toll on your relationship, causing your partner or both of you to drift apart emotionally. Keep that in mind when you communicate these issues with your partner through positive conversation.

Bottom Line

Developing a personal connection in your relationship is not a one-time thing; it is an ongoing effort. The trick is to gauge the bond in your close relationships on a regular basis and never hesitate to communicate issues, no matter how difficult they may be.

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