Marriage is fun (for the most part) when spouses make effective communication a priority. That’s because good communication deepens trust, helping partners feel secure. On the flip side, poor communication can tear couples apart and increase the chances of divorce.
And while no marriage is perfect, the following Communication in a Marriage Quotes, along with the tips in this post, can help strengthen the bond you share with your spouse.
It doesn’t matter whether your “happily ever after” is just starting or you’ve been together for many years; I encourage you to take some time to ponder and internalize the quotes and tips in this article. They can help you create a lifetime of cherished moments with your spouse.
Communication in Marriage: What It Actually Means
A breakdown in communication can have many nasty consequences in marriages. And while couples can talk to each other, effective communication goes beyond uttering words.
Marriages (and relationships generally) suffer when partners talk, but communication doesn’t take place.
I’ll share my top Communication in a Marriage Quotes in a bit, but first, it’s crucial to clarify what communication actually means and how it differs from talking.
Talking is saying words in a bid to get a message across. On the other hand, communication means to successfully transmit a message.
For communication to take place, your words and actions must convey your intended message to your partner. In practical, everyday situations, effective communication comes down to the following:
- Being transparent and openly sharing your thoughts, feelings, and needs with your partner.
- Expressing both positive and negative feelings in a respectful and non-confrontational manner.
- Putting yourself in your partner’s shoes (practicing empathy) to understand their point of view.
- Being supportive and non-judgmental of your spouse, even when you disagree.
- Paying attention to your partner’s body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice.
- Constructively addressing conflicts and disagreements and working together to find solutions.
- Sharing daily experiences, laughter, pains, dreams, aspirations, and discussing important matters.
17 Communication in a Marriage Quotes
- “Marriage is a life-long journey which thrives on love, commitment, trust, communication, patience, and companionship.” – Ashley and Marcus Kusi
- “Good communication is the lifeblood of a successful marriage, so when spouses stop talking at a deep level, their marriages slowly begin to die. After all, a marriage will only be as good as a couple’s communication.” – Greg Smalley
- “The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.” – Peter Drucker
- “There are many deaf people who couldn’t imagine living in a marriage without someone who doesn’t speak their language. For me, I believe that hearing or being deaf is fine as long as both parties are willing to communicate in each other’s language. But if there’s no communication, then the marriage, I believe, will be difficult if not doomed.” – Marlee Matlin
- “Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication. Someone isn’t listening.” – Emma Thompson
- “Bonnie and Jerry told me they never run away from disagreements. They face each one head-on. ‘By holding it in, you’ll begin to slowly form a negative opinion of each other,’ Bonnie reasoned, ‘which means you can’t work out what the disagreement is.’” – Fawn Weaver
- “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” – Dave Meurer
- “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” – Carl Jung
- “To keep the fire burning brightly, there’s one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart – about a finger’s breadth – for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule.” – Marnie Reed Crowell
- “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw
- “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” – Barbara De Angelis
- “Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.” – Zig Ziglar
- “The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make–not just on your wedding day, but over and over again–and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.” – Barbara De Angelis
- “The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace.” – Fawn Weaver
- “The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.” – Robert C. Dodds
- “The truth is that intimacy with our partner rises or falls in direct proportion to our capacity to listen well. Listening with an open heart is the ultimate spiritual act. It is the greatest gift we can give to our partner and, ultimately, to ourselves. The problem is that we’re all defensive a fair amount of the time, although we may be better able to observe defensiveness in other people. Defensiveness is … the archenemy of listening. Defensiveness makes it impossible to truly know our partner or be known.” – Harriet Lerner
- “Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard to sleep after.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Tips for Improving Communication in Marriage
In addition to these Communication in a Marriage Quotes, I recommend keeping the following tips in mind. They will help improve verbal and non-verbal communication between you and your spouse.
Express Yourself Clearly
Your spouse might be amazing in many ways, but I highly doubt they can read minds. Never assume your spouse knows what you’re thinking or feeling.
In other words, you should try as much as possible to be clear and direct when expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs.
But being direct doesn’t translate to placing blame, being confrontational, or sounding accusatory. Always keep that in mind, especially when you express hurtful feelings.
You want to state how you feel rather than blame your spouse for how you feel. Remember to say, “I feel,” followed by how you feel when they behave in a certain way.
For example, “I feel unappreciated when you …” instead of “You make me feel…”
Practice Active Listening
You’ve probably heard or read about active listening countless times and are familiar (in theory) with the basics:
- Pay full attention to your partner when they are speaking.
- Show interest, nod, and maintain eye contact.
- Don’t interrupt when your partner is speaking.
- Avoid formulating your responses in your mind when your partner is still talking.
- Ask clarifying questions.
But if you’re anything like many other people, you know that active listening can be tricky to practice in the heat of the moment when you have like a million things to let off your chest!
However, that’s where emotional intelligence comes into play.
You must ― and this takes lots of patience and practice ― try to fully focus and comprehend what your partner is communicating. This means hearing their words and connecting with and understanding the emotions, intentions, and meaning behind the words.
This way, you can truly demonstrate empathy, validate your spouse’s feelings and experiences, and improve the quality of the emotional connection you share.
Respect Your Spouse
It’s easy for couples to take each other for granted in long-term relationships. And when this happens, appreciation and admiration for each other slowly die off.
One way to treat your partner respectfully is by giving them full attention during conversations. Avoid doing something else (like checking your phone or watching TV) during meaningful discussions unless it’s during chit-chat or playful banter.
Also, you want to avoid cutting off your partner mid-sentence, especially when sharing something important with you.
But most importantly, you must avoid derogatory language, name-calling, and belittling remarks when talking with your spouse. While you can use a mildly sarcastic tone to convey humor, excessive sarcasm ― using sarcastic remarks at every chance ― can negatively impact your relationship.
Choose the Right Time
Timing your discussion is crucial, especially when you have something important to share with your spouse.
If a topic is sensitive, challenging, or important, don’t just throw it out there as soon as it pops into your mind. Chances are, the discussion won’t go well when either of you is stressed, distracted, or simply not in the headspace for a serious talk.
To improve communication in your marriage, choose the right time and place when you have something important to discuss. Find a calm and quiet setting where you can give your undivided attention to each other.
Want more tips to improve communication in your marriage? Check out this guide on fostering active and open dialogue in relationships.