You met this smart, witty, and good-looking dude online. Things seemed to go smoothly until you discovered he is still active on dating apps.
Naturally, you wonder, “If he likes me, why is he still online dating?”
Men and women tend to think differently when it comes to relationship norms. In fact, dating can be especially hard for guys, and even when they find a good woman, some men aren’t quite sure about what they want.
If the guy you have strong feelings for hasn’t taken down his dating profile, here are a few possible reasons for his actions. Don’t forget to check out the tips at the end of this article. They will help you figure out the next steps to take.
Possible Reasons He’s Still Online Dating
1. He Is Cheating
If he likes me, why is he still online dating? Let’s start with a very common reason: he is still using dating apps because he is cheating!
After all, a guy who’s head-over-heels about you won’t remain active on an online dating platform, right?
That said, not deactivating his online dating profile is not enough evidence to prove he is dating other women.
Before you jump to conclusions, make sure you see other signs of cheating or things that make you question his commitment to the relationship.
Is he really active online or merely maintaining a dating profile? Dating apps usually let you know when last a user was active.
If you’ve been officially dating for a while, it is okay to confront him. You’ve invested time, effort, and your life into the relationship, and you should fight to save the relationship if you think someone else is distracting your man.
But it is best to walk away if the relationship is new and you are sure he is seeing other women. There is really no point listening to his excuses if he’s already cheating early in the relationship.
2. He Is Not Sure You Are “The One”
It is a common belief that women are more in tune with their emotions than men, so they are more emotionally expressive.
However, more men believe in love at first sight than women, and a 2011 study shows that men fall in love and are quick to express it more than women.
Okay, all of that may be true, but what has any of it got to do with your boyfriend not being sure you are “the one?”
Here’s the deal.
Your guy may have fallen for you the moment he set his eyes on you, but it doesn’t guarantee that his search has ended.
In other words, he may still want to leave his options open probably because you don’t share similar values, even though he likes you.
He might still be online dating and stalling commitment because he hopes to find someone with better qualities, or he is waiting to see if you’ll eventually turn out to be the one.
Whatever the case, understand that chemistry between you two doesn’t automatically make you the one. To be on the safe side, assume a man is only having a fling until you talk about being exclusive.
3. You’ve Not Discussed Exclusivity
That brings me to the next possible reason a guy could still be online dating, even though he likes you.
Granted, you’ve been talking for a while, and he seems to be into you. But have you talked about defining the relationship?
Many girls assume that just because they are seeing only one guy, he will do the same. That type of assumption can lead to unpleasant surprises.
Rather than asking, “If he likes me, why is he still online dating?” having a conversation about where your relationship is heading is a more practical thing to do.
Some ladies hope that things will transition naturally from seeing, to dating, to a committed relationship. Unfortunately, things don’t always work that way, at least not in today’s world.
If you like a guy and want to be exclusive, don’t wait too long before “having the talk.” It doesn’t make you desperate; instead, it helps you know exactly where you stand with him.
4. He Prefers an Open Relationship
Another common assumption is that all guys like the idea of monogamous relationships. If the person you are dating is still active on dating apps, he might just be one of those guys who aren’t sold on sticking with one woman.
Open relationships may not be widespread, but a good number of people (including married couples) are embracing the option.
A man who chooses an alternative to monogamy isn’t necessarily cheating. Yes, he is dating other women and may even be intimate with them. But his lifestyle choice permits him to do so.
Here’s my point.
Assumptions can be grossly misleading. Never expect automatic exclusivity just because a guy likes you.
Find out what his relationship preferences are right from the onset. This way, you won’t waste your time on someone with a completely different relationship preference and value system than yours.
5. It’s a Habit for Him
Not every guy is actively looking for new dates just because he is still on dating apps. It may be out of habit, albeit not an ideal one.
This may sound like a weak defense but think about it this way. You know how some people can’t seem to put down their phones? They get a kick from checking their social media feeds, DMs, and whatnot, so they tend to constantly bury their heads in their phones.
That’s how online dating is for some guys.
They enjoy the thrills of flirting with lots of girls online, and in many cases, it is all harmless. This is especially true if he is not adding new photos or updating his profile in any way. It’s probably a habit he can’t seem to let go of.
6. He’s Not Into You
This one stings, but it may be why he is still online dating.
Truth is, the person you hoped would be your knight in shining armor may not be really interested in you. Yes, he first messaged you, and yes, he showed interest at first. But it is not uncommon for guys to pique ladies’ interests just to have fun and nothing more.
Don’t take this as an indictment of your qualities, values, and character. It has nothing to do with you but everything to do with his sense of value.
Walk away the moment you notice that he is not genuinely interested in you. Don’t waste your time proving your worth to him.
Remember, trying to convince a man to value is settling for less. Worse still, it paves the way for a toxic relationship.
Not every guy will recognize how amazing you are, so stop throwing yourself at a guy if he doesn’t think you are worth his time.
7. He Forgot to Deactivate His Profile
We all forget things, and not deactivating his dating profile could just be one of those things your man forgot to do.
And even if he didn’t actually forget to delete his profile, he may have left it thinking it was no big deal. It probably didn’t even cross his mind that you’d see anything off about not deactivating the account.
But what if he still checks his app occasionally?
He could be bored and decide to take a look at his dating app just to amuse himself. Instead of worrying too much and imagining all sorts of things, simply ask him about it.
If he truly forgot, he’d probably deactivate his profiles from all dating apps as soon as you told him it bothered you.
If he doesn’t, you are right to suspect something is off.
8. He’s Online Because You Are, Too!
Some women are quick to ask, “If he likes me, why is he still online dating?” forgetting that they, too, are logging into their dating apps.
Could it be that your man is also wondering, “If she likes me, why is she still online dating?”
Let’s say you are only curious to see if he is still active on dating apps. But it is also possible that he’s just as curious as you. If you monitor him by logging in to see if he’s still active, he’s probably doing the same thing too.
You see, it’s easy to point the finger but difficult to see things from other people’s perspectives.
9. You’ve Got It All Wrong
Are you sure he likes you, or have you just assumed it? Could it be that you misinterpreted his signals?
If you like a guy and hope things get serious between you, it’s possible to assume he feels the same way, too, even if he hasn’t exactly told you so.
If you ever find yourself asking, “If he likes me, why is he still online?” it may be time to pause and review the relationship objectively.
How long have you known him (online or otherwise)? Did he actually ask you out, or did your date happen “naturally”? How many dates have you been on?
It is okay to ask him about his intentions if you think he is sending mixed signals. It is better to be sure than move forward in false hope.
What You Can Do if He’s Still Online Dating
The exact step to take will depend on what you want in a relationship. Do you want to build a long-lasting relationship with this person? Is he truly worth the effort? Does he check all (or most) of your boxes?
If you answered yes to all the questions above, it makes sense to talk with him about pulling down his online dating profile.
He should be willing to delete his account and stop using dating apps if he thinks you are the one. If he doesn’t, there is really no need to push him. He clearly doesn’t respect your needs, and you should think twice about continuing the relationship.
Besides asking him to deactivate his online dating account, here are other important things you should do.
Be Clear About Your Intentions
What do you really want in a relationship? Do you want exclusivity, or are you okay with an open relationship? Perhaps you are okay with your man checking his dating apps but don’t want him to date other women.
Don’t leave things to chance, and never assume when it comes to defining your relationship.
Of course, each person has their dating preference, and you shouldn’t force anyone to accept your views. However, clarifying what you want from the onset is better, so there is zero room for interpretations.
Setting boundaries is a big part of building a healthy relationship. If being active on dating apps is a no-no for you, make this clear.
End the Relationship
If you can’t live with the idea that the man you like is still active on dating platforms, politely express your concerns and tell him that it bothers you.
Walk away if he isn’t willing to stop.
It is best to break things off if he doesn’t respect your needs than to continue a relationship that constantly gets you worried and suspicious.
Stop torturing yourself, wondering, “If he likes me, why is he still online dating?” Regardless of the reason, he is either into you or not ready to take the relationship seriously. And the only way to find out his real intentions is to talk to him directly.
Remember that you are investing part of your life into your relationships. Would you want to waste such investments on someone who doesn’t value you?
Don’t let any guy make you feel not good enough for him!
If he likes you and you are exclusive, he will treat you with respect and make you feel like the queen of his heart.